You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
And then he peed in my hair
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