I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
