would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
