oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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