the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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