i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
