Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Houston, we have a squirter
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Randomize
