hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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