Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
