I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
