last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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