One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
