I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
