I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
