He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
