Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
