I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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