I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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