I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
