Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
