Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
