I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
