Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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