wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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