Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
