love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
