he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
