clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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