I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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