Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
