They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
