you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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