I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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