some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
