My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
well you can't waste a boner
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Randomize
