I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
