I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
