you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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