well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
