This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
