Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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