drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
your like the ambassador to my penis.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
