Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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