hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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