so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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