His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
why do cheetos always look like penises
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
