Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
