I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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