He passed out mid-signature
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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