I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
