guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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