thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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